Friends, ye are warned!

The Duck is Nigh!

The DUCK is coming, my friend. But fear not, for if you accept the DUCK, you shall be saved. Yes, YOU must FIND the DUCK and realize its POWER to save you. The DUCK is coming--and its signal will be the QUACK that will awaken all and put FEAR in the hearts of the unducky.

The Time is Coming

The DUCK can save you, but you haven't much time! If you neglect the DUCK, you shall be condemned to an eternity of QUACKING HELL! Worse than the worst fires of Hell, worse than any punishment you've ever imagined! (maniped 1:25).

The Duck WITHIN you cannot be WITHOUT

There is a WAY to the DUCK, a glorious PATH it is, and the TRUTH it EMBODIES is soothing to your mind.

You can start down the PATH to the DUCK by SITTING in a webbed-legged position and pleading:

Oh GREAT WEBBED-FOOT!
Oh most glorious of all the FEATHERED creatures!
Help me find the way!
Help me find the DUCK within me!

Then, friend, you will be well-along the path to the DUCK-MIND. And the DUCK-MIND will SAVE you!

As you become closer to the DUCK-MIND, you will advance to the DUCK-CHANT, even the DUCKFACE, and ultimately, true DUCKINESS. Yes you, a mere mortal, will enjoy DUCKINESS upon this VERY EARTH! Experience the Duck, and find the Duck within your Soul!